What's happening?!?

My wife won't let me watch until my daughter goes to bed and she can watch too. Whose kissed up to Edwards supporters the most (Hillary by claiming her health care plan is bff with Edward's and Obama sighting Edwards as the other change agent?) Has he looked at her once? Has she grinned devilishly while Obama is being asked a question? Are the the Scientologists moderating the debate? Is Britney there? Please let me know.

a finally finished painting for In-law's vacation home.

i can never get the color right in photo's of paintings.

as it will never be needed...

Booyah!!!

Chicago Times

A little mainstream coverage...

of the oft ignored dangers of biofuels. (that is if you consider buried in the science section of CNN.com mainstream)

An Embarrassing poem written some months after our trip to Spain

Backseat Island

The interstate lights become a beacon
rhythmic passings across your features
in my lap, supported
Your head framed in black
remembers Las Islas Cies
where Jeremiah and I ascended at night
the winding road to the highest light house
where in its beam seagulls
flashed into existence
You erupted as an island
from the ocean of the backseat
through my cradle to catch the light
and fall asleep
With the muted rush
our shell, the car, to our ears
Richmond approaches
I'm a ship in this shell
moving closer on the water between us
in danger of running aground
attracted by your light that calls
but warns as well

from my journal that day:

532 seagulls, all with their own right song.

when we witnessed the little girl's two inch ascent on the wall of Christ i could see in her eyes that in that moment she believed in what i can only describe as perfection. A moment not only of joy, but a moment without the anxiety of when the joy will end or the concern that it be joyful enough. i grew envious of childhood. Today, here, where the sun tricks us into looking home and calling it beautiful, i realize i will be envious of myself.

We almost lost social insect to a seagull attack (above).

Saturday, For Starters

Saturday el jefe and I rose early and drove out to Blackwater Falls State Park in northern West Virginia. The point? To photograph what is told in AAA Magazine as a 5 story waterfall with my new Canon Rebel XTi.

And I did indeed. I'd held off on purchasing the camera for so long for fear it would cause a cascade of unforeseen, costly catastrophes. Rubbish, I quickly reminded myself. Absolute rubbish!

The waterfall was beautiful, to be sure. Leaving the park we traveled east a small way and happened on a small brewpub that offered authentic Italian and German food. We grabbed a bite to eat and quaffed our brew.


I had bratwurst. El jefe had a burger. When we left I remembered seeing a sign for Dolly Sods, it stating that the Sods were only 9 miles away. We drove in that direction but once again missed locating them. We were on 33E. We passed through Canaan Valley and then just started seeing signs for Smokehole Caverns. Oh well. As we drove, we passed a farm advertising antiques. Next to the road was a barn with a fence and a miniature pony that was standing in the cold staring at the barn. I thought the pony looked strange. El jefe must have too because he laughed out loud and asked if I saw it. Here was this miniature pony, standing in the freezing cold, just staring at the barn. We turned around and drove back slowly. Yep. Still staring at the barn as if it itself was frozen. El jefe broke into riotous laughter and I did too. That pony looked stupid. Yeah. And frozen. A stupid, frozen, dwarf of a pony with a blank, stupid stare. We about started crying from laughing so hard. We parked the car at the bank next door and got out and walked up to the fence to get a picture of the stupid miniature pony staring at the barn, but when I walked up the pony turned to look at us and then walked over to me. He was actually very sweet and I scratched his nose and rubbed it's head. That pony didn't deserve me calling it stupid. He's just a miniature pony, just trying to get along like everyone else.


Anyways, these XTi pics take a long time to upload so I've only picked a couple. As soon as I figure out how to edit AND save them I'll put up some more. Anyhow, we ended up coming down the mountain into Harrisonburg. As we were making our final descent, my brakes went out and I had to use the parking brake all the way till we could find a Meineke. $320 for new brakes and rotors. We got home at 9:30PM.

I've Created a Monster, Cuz Nobody Wants To See. . .

Ahhhh. . .after a weekend like this I need another week to just sit back and quietly sip my coffee and think about what I've done.

Bill Clinton has a dream...

MLK Day

I know it's long, um, but it's good(text).


**Link to video of the speech.

babyface

Long Live Immortality

prism

Ryan walked in the room,

looked and walked out without ever saying a word.

Live Good

A tribute to Monkey Man's teeth

vid + new software = hmmm

A Modest Proposal

Kevin,
please check your email inbox. In it you will find a plan for an escape.

The Wire in 4 minutes

Be afraid, be very afraid...

Bob Cesca has an interesting take on how Hillary won NH. He compares a HRC quote from before the NH primary:

"I don't think it was by accident that al-Qaeda decided to test the new prime minister. They watch our elections as closely as we do, maybe more closely than some of our fellows citizens do. Let's not forget you're hiring a president not just to do what a candidate says during the election, you want a president to be there when the chips are down."

to some classic Cheney Co:

"If we make the wrong choice, then the danger is that we'll get hit again -- that we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States." -Vice President Dick Cheney, 9/07/04

and

"Whoever is elected in November faces the prospect of another terrorist attack. The question is whether or not we have the right policies in place to best protect our country. That's what the vice president said." -Cheney spokeswoman Anne Womack "clarifying" the vice president's fearmongering

Maybe Edwards isn't selling Kias...

maybe it's about the car he doesn't want you to buy.

Tom said...
"If Edwards would drop out I think Obama could coast to the nomination. I don't think Richardson's departure will help either side very much."

Yeah, i got a few paranoid delusions building. One is that despite appearances (him attacking her in debates and on the campaign trail) Edwards is in cohorts with the Clintons. Clearly he hasn't a chance to win, but his fiery rhetoric is enough to keep his percentage and some of the unions. While also giving democrats who don't like the "polarizing" Hillary a choice other then Obama. It may even be more calculating then that. Wouldn't it be assumed that Edward's aggressive stance towards Clinton would appeal to men (taking from Obama's strength) while creating empathy among women (adding to Clinton's strength). What Edwards would be gaining from an alliance with Clinton Co. is obviously undisclosed (at least for now) but clearly he's not losing (or accomplishing any good) anything by staying in the race.


Also, you can't tell me someone who believes that woman should not be president is going to stand up and yell "Iron my shirt!" at an HRC rally. Clearly that would not help your cause. Totally planted by Clinton Co to impassion woman voters.

Luna Saves The Day!

The young folks are doing the robo-shuffle

Is This All For Ratings?

HRC is way ahead right now, but we're told it's too close to call. Why is 6% too close?
Update: This is stupid. As of 9:38pm the election team at tg and associates is calling this one for Mrs. Clinton. I guess the union I belong to is spending its money well after all.

i'm not sure how i missed this song in my youth..

i don't know, maybe i just forgot it. Anyway, a crushing verse from Peek-A-Boo by Daniel Johnston:

You can listen to these songs,

Have a good time and walk away.

But for me it's not that easy.

I have to live these songs forever.

my favorite of the Chicago photos is on the delusion.

Sorry, i'm almost done with the plane photos.

Predictions For Tomorrow

• Clinton loses, but is at least 10 points ahead of Edwards
• As a result of the CIA's MK-Obama mind control program, independents all flock to Barack because of something vague about hope that they can't explain. This will cost McCain his victory.
• GOP race (in order): Romney, McCain, Huckabee, Paul, Guiliani
• Paul will get no press for once again besting the supposed national front runner scumbag
• Huckabee will reach 15%
• Fat Thompson will drop out after receiving just 2% of the vote
• Edwards will talk about going on, but will be gone within a week
• Chris Matthews will tell me once again that "history is being made", because some of us former history majors forget that history is not a record of the past, but a phenomenon brought to life by minority candidates.
• Just like 2004, this will be the "most important election of our lifetimes."

Origins, Pt. 16

Lollapalooza 94 at the Charlestown Raceway. The act on the main stage, Nick Cave, had driven three fourths of the audience away to wander around looking for places to get pierced or pay six bucks for 20 ounces of water (I wish the Bureau of Reclamation charged western agribusiness concerns prices proportionately equivalent for acre feet of water). With most of the crowd gone, Pete, Kevin Sullivan, and myself were able to push up near the front. As Nick crooned it almost seemed like he was glaring at us, but then that’s how I always feel at shows when I’m near the stage. As a song ended, a girl, for reasons known only to her, chucked her car keys up onto the stage. Nick leaned down, picked them up, and with an erudite Aussie accent of bewilderment queried, “You’re giving me the keys to your f***king car?”

Mile High...

Hey, what do you know, says here, that people looking for a little piece of good night should head to Denver.

Today these were soaring about the airwaves for a bit. . .

A 10% lead?

According to a CNN/WMUR poll, Obama's lead is up to double digits. A little unbelievable to tell you the truth. I wonder if there is a point where her negative and misleading ads start to change her legacy from the potential first woman president to one of the forces at work against the potential first black president. Or do you worry about that when your married to the self proclaim "first black president?

** Update-- Another poll , another double digit lead. Desperation is a tender trap, Mrs. Clinton, don't do it.

** International Update-- Barack Hasselhoff?

and still more...

Origins, Pt. 15

As the car passed through the dusty nowhere of Interior, South Dakota I saw a lone, old Lakota sitting in front of a boarded up wooden building. He waved at us as we passed onto the Pine Ridge Reservation. We headed due south through jagged badlands and short grass prairie dotted with rusted trailer homes, abandoned cars, and circling hawks. En route a pheasant came out of nowhere and was nailed by Shane who was driving. Out the back window I could see colorful feathers briefly twirl through the air before hitting the crumbling BIA blacktop. After about an hour of driving we arrived at Wounded Knee. To the northwest in Montana you find a National Park Service run battlefield commemorating the spot where Custer fell. Down here on the Rez, at a place where a couple hundred unarmed elderly people, women and children were slaughtered by the US Army a couple days after Christmas 1890, there were only handpainted signs to mark the turn off. We parked and walked to the top of the hill. A full-blood teen boy sat bored on the church steps wearing a red Michael Jordan t-shirt. We walked around the concrete marker denoting the mass grave. The wind was blowing hard in the bright mid-afternoon May sun. Otherwise, all was silence. You could see to far horizons in all directions. The land was ragged, open and poor. Actually, America's poorest county with the highest unemployment rate in the nation every time the statistics are updated. A woman came around the corner: "Would you like to buy this dreamcatcher?", she asked me. Without even thinking about it I handed over 15 dollars. She smiled and said, "I will say a prayer for you all". It went something like "Lord, look kindly on these young people. They tell us that the whites are not all bad. For in their eyes I see that they are here to learn." We turned and walked back down to the cottonwood tree where the car was parked. Shane said, "I feel like we really didn't belong there." Ryan and I concurred.

One Wild and Crazy New Years Eve Morning ('07)

To be titled: "I Think Someone Just Died"

Donut Man Readies for Press Pic of Political Analyst, Thomas

The Bunch

Democratic Debate

9:22-So far, so dull. The GOP debate was a lot more fun to watch. At least at this point. Obama sounds hoarse. Richardson has too much experience.

Anyone watching the GOP debate?

The moronic jingoism of these guys responding to Ron Paul is rooted in the idea that America is perfect. It is outside the boundaries of permissible thought to be critical of your government if you're running for president apparently.
7:58 Romney blames American health care's ills on people choosing to be uninsured, and defends Pharmaceutical companies. Not a good argument to make in a state where many people cross into Canada all the time to get their meds.
8:15 Guiliani totally fumbles on the Reagan amnesty thing

Romney Wins Caucus!

In a beautiful place where no one is paying attention
Hunter and Thompson also pick up delegates.

Origins, Pt. 14

In October of 98, Michelle and I pulled into a campground at 8,000 feet in the Kaibab Nat'l Forest near the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. It was dusk, and mule deer herds 100 strong grazed amongst the golden quaking aspens of fall. By the time the sun was completely down the temperature had dropped into the 20's. We were freezing. The older lady who was the campground hostess came around on a golf cart and sold us firewood. We sat up to stay warm around the flames, with me reading Michelle some of my stories and poems of younger days. As the fire began to run out I started burning my writings to try and keep us from freezing. The next morning we went into the general store for coffee. The sign said the low the night before had been 5 degrees.

More insanity...

There are cars that run on compressed air. They can go almost 70 mph and last 125 miles between refue--recompressions. Developed by one company. Mostly a guy and his son . And they made an air car that goes 70 mph for 125 miles!?! What the fuck is wrong with us?

the domestication of T.G.

Patch Dream #82 (to be filed in the annals of Medical Nicotine)

In Richmond for the days after the holidays. I needed to see a therapist. It was gray and I was lost* with regard for direction in my life.

Over the phone, "Can I schedule an appointment to see you today?"

"Yes," she said. "It's been a long time and I'm interested to hear how you are doing. Let's set the appointment for 4:00."

"Yes, that that sounds good. I'll see you at 4:00."

"Ok, Kevin."

I closed my phone and sat down in the living room. Somebody brought me some mail that had come. There was an official looking letter that my brother brought to me asking what it was. I opened it. Inside were court papers and some yellow carbon copies. "Pursuant to Rule ________ you are hereby ordered to attend counseling for mental health. . ." What was this about?

"What's that all about?" Steve asked.

"I don't know, I'll ask her when I get there. Can you take me?"

He agreed. We left the West End at 3:15. Her office was in Shockoe Slip. For some reason we parked half way between home and her office in the basement garage of a building. The garage rented bicycles and I suppose Steve thought it would be a good idea to bike the rest of the way. Getting out of the car I felt my phone vibrating and I opened it. A text message:

"%%%#%##FWD:';I walked in to the r^oom and there stood MY HUSBAN&D, drinking a bottle of&$##"

The hell? Where did that, no, WHO did that come from? Who was it forwarded to? Immediately the phone was vibrating again:

"You have 1 New video"

PLAY. There I stood, on the video, in a room, possibly even a house I've only seen on an old family Super 8 film from before I was born. But there I was, standing with a beer in my hand and my infant nephew on his stomach on the bed in the sun. I heard myself slurredly say something friendly to the baby and watch as it began to crawl forward unexpectedly towards the edge of the bed. In the video I looked quickly for some place to put the beer down so I could stop him but I couldn't in time and the baby fell off the side of the bed and there was only quiet and my audible frantic worry. In the video I ran to the other side of the bed and as I watched the video I feared the baby had broken his neck or fractured his skull. I watched myself pick him up and stand him upright and was relieved to see that my nephew was now about 3 years old and had only scuffed his knee**. In the video I looked towards the camera with a look of relief and shook my head but in watching the video I grew incredibly angry.

Which was more scary, that I didn't have any recollection of this ever happening? Or that she was sending, or had sent, this sanctimonious account of an experience to someone who, reviewing it, was in a position to order me into counseling or fear not being allowed in the presence of my nephew? Quick. Think! What is this?! What is this about? Now nearly 2 years from our divorce? 3 years since I've had any f--ing meaningful contact with her, probably even more than that!!!! My blood began to boil and as I've learned, so expertly so, I began to step back in my mind to see the larger picture. This was no time for emotion, this was time for quick thinking and quick action. Yes, indeed, I did believe I was beginning to understand what was happening and why. Some things don't ever change, do they? I will never cease to be amazed, will I, at how many consequences continue to arise out my errors in judgment, out of my poor decisions during that ever so brief period of my life? This type of thing will likely follow me forever and it will always be a shock, you better just get used to that right now. Eventually, as have most things, through repetition, the shocks will become less shocking. Won't they?. . . . . . Won't they?

In an excruciatingly frustrating turn of events, a series of wrong turns, detours, and tire flats left me walking up to the door of my therapist's building at 6:30. I knew she wouldn't see me but I felt I needed to show her I tried. I knocked at the door, hearing voices inside, and my therapist opened it. I looked past her to a room filled with some single women and couples, all with infant children.

"You're very late, Kevin, but please come on in, everybody agreed to wait for you so let's hurry up."

This is all some kind of misunderstanding, I thought. A group of mothers and couples here to teach me how to handle and hold a child? How to be attentive? Some education class about children? For me and my supposed inadequacy as presented to the court, to my therapist? Oh boy, I thought to myself as I watched an instruction on how to change a diaper. Just wait until the truth beneath all of this comes out. Yes, just you wait, I thought and smiled at the mother standing next to me.





*The tone of the dream can simply be related to the patch as I'm currently feeling the best I have in years

**No infants were harmed prior to, during, or after the making of this dream. Even the timeline, when translated into real life events, makes the creation of such a video impossible, recall.

A Possible Endorsement

I know that my endorsement carries a lot of wait in Presidential politics. One need only look back over the years to see the influence I yield. In 1992, my blue Buick was emblazoned with a Perot sticker right below the Smiths and Grateful Dead. In 96, I said "Go Pat Go", until Pat stopped going, and then I reluctantly voted absentee for a man who made me feel a little validated when he declared 12 national monuments during term 2. In 2000, I was one of 62 people in the county I lived in to vote for Nader. In 2004, I was for any Democrat but Leiberman, and when Kerry got the nod I offered full-hearted support with my nose pinched, eyes blindfolded, and mouth closed tightly so as not to breathe in the stink from that pathetic excuse for a candidate.
That of course brings us to 2008. Like many I fell for the charisma, and almost movie-quality of Obama's speech the other night. He seemed like a perfect portrayal of a president in a film, using the grandest style of oratory to say nothing specific. That said, however; I am prepared to say that I'll be a backer if he can demonstrate in tonight's debate that he can be just as lofty and inspiring in 90 seconds as he can be in 25 minutes. If he is capable of doing that I think he will be the next president. Most American's will not watch 25-50 minute speeches, most candidates outside of swing states will never see him speak in person. Most American's will be exposed to him from soundbites on the news and by seeing the debates this coming fall. If he can use his excellent rhetorical skills to the level he did the other night in a debate against McCain, Romney, or the Bunny Toothed Jailer he will be swept into the White House.
I see nothing in his policy positions to really make him stand out from his two chief rivals at this point, but his almost AntiChrist-like charisma could take him far provided there is no love child or previously undisclosed criminality in his drug past.
As a serious leftist, not a liberal, I hold mainstream Democrats in low regard. I fear he is just another one that happens to give a speech like it's Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. Edwards' attacks on corporate power appeal to me far more than all this vague hope stuff. Kucinich and Gravel were my ideological soul mates. Ditto for Nader. But I'm thinking about Obama's broad appeal and how that could lead to 6-10 senate seats on Election Day (maybe even Mississippi!), and a couple dozen more house seats. With that kind of balance great things could truly be done.
So I watch tonight to see if he can function in the time constraints of 21st century politics. If he can I'm skeptically in, because I really think he could win.

Get yer town outta my dreams

I was dreaming this morning that Allicia was looking over Zora's newly acquired driver's license. She said, "I don't think this is any good, Baltimore isn't spelled right, is it?" I woke up and turned to Allicia who was nursing Zora and said, "No, Baltimore is spelled B-A-L-T-I-M-O-R-E."